Friday, June 25, 2010

Happy Anniversary bloggy...

apparently on your one year anniversary true bloggers do something fabulous with their blog...they  have a contest, or write some amazing post, or something! 

me.  I missed it.  sorry bloggy, it was yesterday.  happy late anniversary. 

we went out last night with friends.  it was really fun.  I felt relaxed, I felt full, and then I came home and freaked out that I ate too much.  yes, that is my life right now - struggling between the constant worry that i am messing up this baby, that i am messing up myself, that I am constantly failing, and going to bed longing for french fries with tears in my eyes.

sounds pathetic, doesn't it?  that's how i feel too.  

Just like last pregnancy, I am starting to get to the point where I want to avoid people....just so they can't say anything to me that might make me crawl into my closet and have a good cry.  i know people are trying to be nice...women are the worst, "You are so small!  You don't even look pregnant!  you are having the baby in six weeks?  yeah right!...I was that big by like 20 weeks" and on and on and on.  i just want to scream back at these people.  Even my mom today says, "have you lost weight in your butt?"  i probably have.  who cares. 

Nathan was ornery all morning.  Just whining and crying, and I don't know if he was just tired, or had to poop, or just in a mood.  maybe it was the tiredness though, because i left him downstairs while I went to the bathroom and he had fallen asleep on the couch, which never happens. 

then, this lightning and thunder came through...no rain really.  there was a huge BOOM and no more power.  it just came back on, which is good, but I was in the middle of cleaning, and now I have lost my desire.  who needs clean clothes anyways?  Also, I was going to work, but seeing as how the internet was down and everything is virtual now, that didn't work either. 

Today's devotion:  Sometimes you just have to get to the other side of a situation to see the whole picture of what God is doing in your life...use uncertain times to demonstrate your faith by trusting Him. 

Man.  that's hard.

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