And everytime I go home, I feel disappointed. It isn't that going home disappoints me, but rather, that this deep down feeling of longing for something won't go away. A friend gave me a book - after Christmas I read it - and was amazed that it explained it. I am longing for Jesus....for my true home....for a place without death and disease and life's crud. I long for that feeling I had when I was little - that everything is safe, pure, perfect - something you only taste once when you are young, ignorant of the world and it's evils.
Oh the world, so filled of, as that book reminded me, of people like me. Of people who are flawed, of a system that is flawed, of a place we weren't meant to be, where sad things happen.
I know what a loss of a pet feels like, I have experienced it, and it is awful. There are so many people that will look at you and say something like, "it is just a dog." or, "it's just a cat." they don't get it. and that's okay. i am not here to explain it to them.
|Gus (puppy) with Kaiser|
It all turned out okay...found out the incubation period was 24 hours, which had already passed, and that if humans got it (which, no one really knew exactly what 'it' was), it usually was self-limiting. They talked to us about what to watch out for in the next 24 hours, and to go home. But, for a few moments that day every single thought it my head was pushed out by a primal urge to grab my kids and do everything I could possibly do to protect them and save them.
So is life I guess. Until we get home. Our real home. Even though there are some beautiful, wonderful things here, it wasn't meant to be like this. But, you have to take it, and move on, keep going, until you get there.