After my day today, which went pretty poorly workwise, I thought I did a pretty good job of "holding it in" until I got home. So, shortly after we walked in the door, I went for a jog...and I figured all my pent up frustrations would clearly show themselves in a really good jog. But, just like work today, after my run, I felt like a constant disappointment to myself.
It just seems that no matter how hard I try...or how much I practice, I just don't get any better at it. I keep telling myself not to get discouraged - that going back to work a lot more in the past few months, as well as dealing with two kids now that get sick versus just one, and getting a few sicknesses myself, obviously has taken a toll. Then, after I say that to myself in my head, another voice pops in and says, "or...maybe you just suck." I tend to believe the latter.
This is really not a big thing...and I have to commend myself for not giving up...when I clearly want to so much. But, I think I need more friends that struggle with this..that have gone for a run on the treadmill and only been able to do 1.25 miles in 13 minutes and 38 seconds before completely just running out of energy...and then walking upstairs to have a good cry about it.
So, anyways, unlike Mommy, Nathan and Evan are doing well. We made a trip up to my brothers this weekend...and Nathan was all about wearing his sunglasses. He refused to smile for me in them - clearly I was crampin' his style by even ASKING for a smile.
|too cool for school|
I am still working through the laundry room plans. I thought I had it all figured out...but everytime someone comes over and I explain to them what I want, they throw a wrench in the works by making suggestions and get me all confused again. I have now decided to put in half of the closet I was going to do (the second half wouldn't have been usable space anyways, because the water heater/softener would be in there), and still do the broom closet, and ceiling with storage. I am really not sure how long all of this will take to do...I only know it won't be done anytime soon.
We have to make a trip to Wanda this weekend for Chris' Grandma's birthday party...and then the following weekend we have relatives visiting us for an afternoon. Sprinkle in a tax busy season and a Mommy who doesn't have a day to clean each week and the house becomes a chaotic, dirty mess. or, at least I think so.
I also really need to keep moving on little projects here at home...I promised to make things for our daycares silent auction this spring...and I have some really old quilted blocks I could sew into a quilt if I ever get some fabric and come up with some ideas. Maybe the magic work and house cleaning fairy will come tonight and get all my chores done so I can focus on fun stuff. maybe.