Wednesday, July 27, 2011

It's moments like this...

where I just look up to the sky and say "Thank you Jesus!" for all the blessings surrounding me in everyday simpleness...

...like fresh, juicy tomatoes....
grown on my patio (well, almost...)
And fresh rhubarb and strawberry quickly thrown together with some crumble on top...like eating jam with brown sugary goodness...

And Daddy's that make "faces" for their three-year old son's lunches...and the happiness and giggles that follow....

The kids are spending the night at Grandma's...Nathan has been begging for about two months to have a night at Grandma Gus' house, so she said she would take them tonight...I didn't get much notice that this was happening, and I am working tomorrow, so it doesn't free up much time, but its nice to have a little break.  

But, I just went into their rooms and became overcome with sadness that I didn't have two little cheeks to kiss goodnight or to pull up the covers and tuck them in and whisper "i love you" and to have Nathan whisper back "love you" even though he is half asleep. 

However, the feeling was brief because I realized Evan's bedroom smelled and the sheet had stains all over it (apparently he had a blow out early this morning and my groggy eyes didn't recognize it at the butt-crack of dawn)!  So, I have some more work to do...

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I saw some pictures today of the famine in East Africa....i saw pictures of kids Nathan's age...laying on the ground, flies swarming their little bodies...starving.  i almost cried.  I want to get into an airplane, fly over there, and scoop as many as I can up and say, "come live with me"....I could eat PB&J sandwiches for the rest of my life and I could spend what I eat on food on them and make them healthy and happy and safe and strong.  they have nothing.  absolutely nothing.  and i have everything.  At the same moment where I want to shout "Thank you Jesus!" I also want to cry out, "Why Lord, why?!"  At the same moment I am worried about the US ecomony collapsing and wreaking havoc on our jobs and our lives, people over there have nothing.  Even if worst comes to worst, I think we in American would have food and water if the economy goes down the toilet.  I would have to think the worst feeling in the entire world would be the feeling of helplessness when it comes to your children...whether it be illness, food, or water...the feeling that you cannot provide for them the basics of life.  I know there is something I can do.  I guess I just need to pray about what that is...

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On a happier note, tomorrow is Thursday!  Huzzah!  The end of a crazy workweek for me! 


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