Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A once in a lifetime *hopefully* experience...

I feel like it has been a year since I last blogged, but it hasn't even been three weeks...

The first weekend in October, 10 or 11 days ago, was quite the day. 

It started off normal...we got up and started doing things around the house, made breakfast, were having company over later so we were cleaning things and getting things out for dinner, we argued (about something piddly as couples often do) and discussed who was going to go to the store and which kids would go where and whatever.

I needed to return something to Kohl's, so Chris and I decided I would go and take Nathan and Evan could  hang out with him.  Chris thought if his parents stopped by he could maybe put the baseboard trim up quickly with his Dad there.  It shouldn't take too long he said. 

Nathan and I had a good morning -- we went to Menards and found the bathroom sink trim, then returned items to Kohl's and found some towels I was wanting, and I got him an ornament for Christmas (when he wasn't looking) and a few other things. 

He was being so good I asked if we could go look for a purse and some shirts for him at JCPenny since we were right there and he said yeah.  I told him I would take him to McDonald's afterwards.  I was excited - there were some good shirts there for him for winter and I found a purse that I liked (I have been debating if I should get an expensive purse...but I found one I really liked so I went with it).

When we left it was about 1pm - kind of late for lunch but we needed something before guests came over so I called home to see if Chris wanted me to get him something too. 

His Mom answered, and I was surprised...I was like, What the heck are you doing there?   The next thing I know she is telling me Christopher and Gary just left for the hospital - Chris had gotten his hand cut badly in the saw.  She told me to drive home safe.  So, that's what I did.  I drove home.

When I got home I talked to Gary and he didn't know anything yet, except that nothing was cut off and they thought he didn't hit anything major, but it was still bad.  Christopher didn't want me to come because of all the blood.  I went up to my bed and laid down and cried and prayed.  Then I got up and started packing the kids' things up for Grandmas.  I didn't know how long I'd be at the hospital. 

I went downstairs to put the cats away.  I glanced over towards the window with the saw sitting outside.  I could tell someone had already wiped the big spots of blood up -- then I looked at the actual saw and there were small pieces of Christopher's hand on it.  I don't know where I got the courage, but I wiped the tears away and went upstairs to pack everyone up and leave. 

On the way out the door I noticed Grandpa's shoes...apparently he ran out of the house so fast with Christopher he didn't even put on shoes.  It bothered me that it was that bad...all sorts of thoughts started racing through my mind...

I dropped the kids off at Grandma's and then drove to the hospital.  I think everything I have gone through in the past year with being sick and working on my anxiety has helped me...because for once I turned to people not to hear their consoling words or to ask for comfort, but I called friends and family and asked them to pray. 

And I know they did, because by the time I got to the hospital there was some good news - they didn't think anything major had been injured and that with surgery his hand would be fully functional again. 

When I walked into the ER room, Chris looked so sad...the nurses were cutting off his two favorite shirts (a tshirt he loved and a sweatshirt he loved) -- he said, "hon, my shirts!" and the nurses asked if I wanted the scraps to which I said, "no, they had stains in them anyways."  The nurses also knew I was no good with blood, so they immediately made me sit and told me when they were uncovering his hand so I wouldn't look.  I knew I couldn't look.  I was shaking internally, if that makes any sense. 

The rest I won't detail out...he went into surgery, the surgeon was pretty much all business, but I was just thankful it went well.   We found out Chris had hidden vocal chords so the aesthetist went on about that for awhile, but it went okay and oddly enough, he was sent home around 8pm. 

He was in a lot of pain the first few days...but by Wednesday last week had weaned himself off most of it and just took some ibuprofen when it got bad.  Some of the stitches came out today...but he will have a brace on for another two weeks and then it sounds like a few months of physical therapy.  His hand looks swollen and sore and sad. 

I am still relieved and concerned at the same time - any mother knows the feeling.

My friend Karla sent me a book in the mail three weeks ago.  It is called "The Hiding Place" and was about this woman's experience in Holland during the Holocaust.  It was an awful, wonderful book.  It was about faith and trusting God in all times and in all moments giving thanks for whatever situation you are in.  After I read it, I was inspired by this woman and mad at the same time that the world sucked so much. 

But, in the book I mentioned above, one of the things the author said was that God gives you the strength to get through any situation, but only at the moment you need it.  I now realize that the reason God had Karla send me that book three weeks ago was so I could realize that - because I have now experienced it. 

I don't know how I got through that day, or for that matter, any day last week. Somehow, I worked over 70 hours from Monday to Saturday (because the deadline was yesterday), working odd hours and staying up on my comptuer until midnight, took care of Christopher, the kids, the cats, the house, my clients, and I think, myself.  I didn't do it alone, mind you, there were people that helped me and offered to help, but I did a lot more than I ever thought I could.  God's grace.

I am now finding that I am tired, and Christopher is ancy to heal and get back to normal as well, and my temper is short with everyone...but its just one of those things that happened and you don't know why.  Christopher cannot remember how it happened either.  He is missing his hunting trips this fall and is bummed.  There will be other trips, we understand that, but something like this makes you realize how fragile everything is...

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