Sunday was a get-together at my parents. Always a nice time, but with the whole family there, it can be rather exhausting. It is just very draining to be around people you don't feel comfortable being yourself completely. And the truly exhausting part is trying to make conversation and be polite to people who either walk away from you when you ask them how they are - which takes effort let me tell you! (okay, I get the point, you don't want to talk to me as usual, olive branch, smacked down again! ), or, who insist on talking about themselves or the business for 45 minutes while you "mmmhmmm and yes, I understand" all while thinking about how you could be home doing laundry or something else much more exciting.
But the nice part of Sunday was I got to spend some time with my niece, who admires my sister greatly, but, because we don't see each other much, is still kind of scared around "the other aunt". We spent some time talking and she told me about home and school and it was fun listening to her chat in her incredibly squeaky high voice.
Also fun, and is always fun, is watching kids pull onions. Evan was the funniest - almost falling over after each one, or landing smack on his bottom, and then proudly saying, "I got you a big 'un, Mommy!"
On Monday Chris had soccer, so I thought it would be enjoyable to have a little picnic. In my naivety, I thought that this would be one game where I wouldn't have to deal with the cousins being there - figuring it was a later game and all. I was disappointed to find out that I was wrong. Not that I don't like them, but just once it would be nice to hang out with only my boys and watch Daddy play a game. When their cousins are there, they don't sit nice, they don't talk to me, and they don't eat their picnic dinner. *sigh*
On Tuesday, Chris emailed that he wanted to "try new recipes". However, he didn't want to provide any idea as to what. So, we decided to make this grilled flank steak his brother raves about, and I wanted to try making mango salsa. Not only did I learn how to peel and cut up mango, but I learned I definitely like the cooked salsa you can can, way better than the stuff you just mix up cold. The flavors don't meld together as nicely. We were both disappointed with the flank steak, wondering if we did something wrong, since it just tasted like red chile powder and steak (which, we aren't fond of red chile powder on it's own). Anyways, since we were so busy cooking, we ate late, and cleaned up late, and I was exhausted by bed time.
On Wednesday I worked and then went to a Twins game with a friend, totally relaxing, even though the Twins lost by one. We took a picture and it made it on the big screen (see below!) I was actually really awake when I got home, even though I was tired at the end of the game. This wasn't good though for Thursday morning....
Our team at work was scheduled to volunteer at Feed My Starving Children and then come over to my house afterwards for dinner and drinks. I spent the morning preparing and it flew by, then we went over an volunteered and it was fun. I was sad to learn that a few people that RSVP'ed just decided not to come - its a small group so you think they would have some courtesy. What was even odder is that people who specifically said they would come to my house for drinks and dinner, suddenly changed their mind, or who came and had such odd excuses for leaving. One girl had to leave because she had to let her sister's dog out - I was like, Okay, you have known about this for awhile, and the dog will be okay. Another person had to leave because he had to take his wife out to dinner...I was like, "ummm...okay."
On Friday I decided to make jam. I made lots and lots of jam. it was fun. but again, I get these spurts of energy and then an hour or so later I am like, whoa, I am tired, why did I make such a mess out of the kitchen?
Evan had a fever last night, so he stayed home today and I made him some soup. He is better and running around (was awfully tired last night), so I hope its something that passes. His temp has been normal all day, although a tad high for him, so I hope he is alright. I had a fear this was similar to when he got pneumonia, so I camped out in his room last night from 1 - 4AM and took his temperature every so often like a nervous nelly. Finally, I convinced myself his temperature wasn't going to drop to 93 degrees and went back to my own bed for a few hours...
Anyways, that brings me to my title. I am still feeling run-down and tired from this week, and cranky. But suddenly as I was getting frustrated today as my kid spilled his soup all over the table, a voice said, "don't let your ugly out" and it was good advice. It's okay to feel cranky, tired, exhausted, sad, awful, but it's not really okay to let it out on others. Life's too short. So, I am telling myself this afternoon, "Renee, don't let your ugly out, just let it go, tomorrow is another day..."