Sunday, January 12, 2014

so much for the funk.

well, I spent the week in tremendous pain from a blister on my foot.  On Thursday I was in near tears at work, so I walked (owie!) to Target for moleskin, blister covers, and anything else I could find.  Of course, and finally, Friday morning things felt better.  Whew. 

And what a Friday it was, I felt better, the kids were feeling good and were both at school, I pulled out baby stuff and washed it, got things done around the house, went grocery shopping, started dinner, picked up the kids and had some time to relax.  I was finally feeling good about things.

For some reason, these are the moments life likes to wreck for me.  Chris came home and was down.  It took me awhile to drag it out of him, but Target is doing big layoffs next week.  Sounds like a majority, according to rumors, will be in IT.  Figures.  Chris has been laid off before and it took him almost a year to find another job, but we didn't have three kids last time.  We only  had to worry about ourselves.  Granted, we were planning a wedding and looking at houses so all of our plans changed, but it still worked out. 

So, I spent Friday night trying to feel positive and failing miserably, and Chris is totally down about it, and he spent Saturday and Sunday updating his resume.   I spent Saturday reworking the current budget.  Some things would definitely be going - the biggest expense would be preschool for Evan.  You just cannot afford to spend $1,000/month on that with one income.  At least on my one income.  And I would definitely have to go back to work sooner after maternity leave.  I am thankful I have a good job and things have been doing *relatively* well there, and accounting is such a robust industry if something ever did happen I feel like I could find something quickly.  I don't think its the same with IT.  Chris' dad got laid off and it took him quite awhile to find something new. 

I realize nothing bad may come of this and things may all work out very well, but we have lots of friends at Target too and its disgusting when they do this.  Its just poor planning on their part and the cuts drive the share price back up a few cents.  It's business.  It's life, I get it.  It still sucks. 

Ever since Chris got laid off before we were married, and growing up in a house where my parents never had any money, were constantly fretting about it and taking odd jobs here and there to make ends meet, I just never have wanted any part of that.  That's why we don't take big trips.  To me, its like, okay, I spend $3,000 on an "experience" or pay off some debt.  I think I will pay off some debt.  If I am ever debt free, then I will feel okay to spend $3,000 on a vacation or something.  I like being able to buy my kids some new clothes every now and then.  I hated wearing my cousins things all the time.  Granted, I appreciated something way more than others I suppose, but I rarely got new things. 

We spent the weekend playing with our kids.  I think we both just naturally are so stressed we realize that family is just the most important.  (well, except for family members that call and make you feel like crap, but other than those....)  Nathan beat me three times in a row in UNO, seriously, I finally won the 4th time.  Then we played Mancala.  Now Daddy is playing UNO with Nathan.  Usually Daddy and I struggle and try to find time to do our own things.  Not today and yesterday.  Our stuff isn't important anymore.  I guess that is one positive.

Well, we are praying for a good week, but who knows.  I am a week overdue for a doctor's visit but honestly don't feel like going in.  I mean, I know I will be told my BP is too high considering all this stress!

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