Monday, April 20, 2015

Let's be real.

One of the best parts about reading other blogs is when they are real.

no facebook fluff.

no "my life is perfect" nonsense.

just everyday give and take.  yin and yang.  living between the joy and the sorrow.

that's how I feel today.  we went to our friend's bday party for their kids.  it was fabulous.  -- the decorations, the cakes, the food, the atmosphere --   so of course,

i left feeling like a loser mom.   all the way home these questions started popping up in my head, why didn't I do something like that for one of my two older boys?  why haven't i started planning something like that for Jeffrey?  (his bday is in exactly three weeks...not happening with busy season)....

there was one overriding question though -- why am I not fabulous like that?

Momastery would say that I am.  YOU ARE FABULOUS GIRL!.  why is that so hard to believe?

Last night Chris and I got into a spat.  It was a silly spat, one you get into quickly but then stew about for hours afterwards.  Later on I started feeling really down and was talking to myself in a negative way.  You know, "I suck at life" kind of thinking.  Chris said, "why are you going to the negative again?  you know you aren't supposed to do that..."  and to paraphrase a line from Pretty Woman, the bad stuff is just easier to believe....

Ugh, why.  Why is it so hard to believe you have your own style and you are fabulous in your own way?  I dunno.  But I started to think about my own style, and what I like to do, and then I realized that's why I haven't thrown a party like that -- its not me.  It's not us.  Because you shouldn't do things that aren't you -- especially for the wrong reasons -- so that's good!  

It's hard to remind yourself of that -- in this day and age, it's easy to forget who you are.  This takes nothing away from anyone else mind you -- it's just reminding yourself of why you do things your way -- and your way is okay!

Everyone seems to be always comparing, but if you look at it in a new light, maybe they aren't comparing.  Maybe they are just sharing.  I like that word better.  Even if they are talking to compare, who cares.  I will think otherwise.  I will enjoy their stories and their journey...because my way is okay, and so is theirs...

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